Not being one for computer games and wasting my time on trivial things, in between learning Mandarin Chinese, I got to tinkering with some old samples I found lying around, and knocked up this little experimental thing… and found a few video images to go with it. I hope you like it!
Picture the scene… It’s minus 2 degrees, and my homeless friend, Andy, is in need of something to warm him up. He wants a coffee, so I go to the Starbucks over the road. I wouldn’t ever be seen dead in one as I think they are a waste of space, but for him I go. It’s empty. I enter. I’m not wearing a gag. I order. I’m polite and chat with Keano the server. Unbeknownst (I love that word!) to me, an elderly couple enter the bar (…dangerously stand close to one another… lol) dressed like bandits. They had obviously ordered earlier, as they got served first. BUT… before they got their ESSENTIAL order, they HAD TO accost me and berate me for not wearing a mask! I got a full, FIVE-MINUTE-BLAST from both of them about how I was endangering THEIR lives…! I was too shocked to even speak…
I wish I’d been awake enough to say, “If you’re THAT scared, stay the FUCK HOME CUNTS!” Which, obviously, is where they should have been. BUT, coffee, unlike the pub and hospitality trade, IS an essential item… it would seem. And coffee drinkers and mindless, ignorant cunts, that care more about adhering to rules than taking care of what’s important, like looking after other human beings that are starving and freezing this year.
Boris, you’re a fucking cunt! And so are all you’re clowns. You’re killing more people than you’re saving, and you should be held up on terrorist charges!!!
PS – To the elderly couple that BROKE the law by going out for non-essential coffee… If I see you again, look out… 😉
Just when I thought I was getting used to doing radio interviews, not only are we beset with technical difficulties (their end this time, I think!) but when they think we’ve gone off air, I get shouted at. The signal’s not great, but it’s well worth listening to for the comedic value – you just can’t make this stuff up – gold dust!
Ron Clark has invited me back on his show on Chat & Spin Radio tonight at 7.15pm for a follow-up interview to hear the progress we’ve made since the last time I was on. Click the image below to go to their website and tune in live, if you’re around…
Remember, you can buy our song here and help us support the struggling pub and hospitality trade this year!
With Christmas only 17 days away, we’re pulling out all the stops to try and expose our highly addictive charity Christmas song to as many people as possible. Buy our song and help us support those in the pub and hospitality trade survive this panic-demic!
It’s been quite an ordeal trying to spread the word, especially as we are up against so many more contenders this year, and have absolutely no backing. It hasn’t helped that even though we’re raising money for the pub and hospitality sector, EVERY SINGLE charity we’ve approached has either shunned our song or ignored us completely! It beggars belief that even the industry we are trying to help won’t even help us promote our song. Apart from a handful of publicans, we’ve had no assistance whatsoever. Gotta say I’m absolutely disgusted, but I remain hopeful.
Notre-Dame got way more money, and that’s just a building! Millions of tourists used to flock to the UK every year, not only to see Buckingham Palace and a glimpse of the royal family, but also to experience what a REAL, British pub is really like. Nowhere else in the world do we have anything closely resembling a British pub, and soon we might not have any in the UK.
Sadly, thanks to the the UK government, under the control and direction of Prime Minister Boris Johnson, under the premise of protecting the taxpayer-funded NHS, before any actual laws had been passed, deemed it permissible to shut one of our biggest – and most overlooked – assets right before any evidence was available that they were even a threat, let alone a contributing factor to the spread of this new (alleged – I’m disbelieving more and more every day!) coronavirus. The Treasury must be pulling their hair out trying to work out how to pay for this catastrophe! Oh no, how silly of me! WE the taxpaying business people will have to pay for it – if we still have businesses to run!!!
OBVIOUSLY £250,000 hasn’t been raised YET to bail out the great, British pubs, but wouldn’t it be marvelous, if we could raise £250,000 through the sale of our silly, Christmas song, “I Got P*$$ed with Santa Claus”by Tone Def Tony, to give something back to a great, British institution that has helped to raise BILLIONS OF POUNDS over the years for worthy causes? This is a blatant publicity stunt, but since the pubs have been seriously overlooked in the thinking of these ludicrous government-imposed restrictions, and we are just three old codgers trying to make a difference, we had to do something to try and get SOME attention!
To top that, we can’t wait to be number one, we’re giving ALL OUR DOWNLOAD SALES AND STREAMS TO HELP THE PUBS!!!
It’s actually quite a fun song that sticks in your head once you hear it, as long as you don’t mind the odd mildly rude word…
I lost faith in the UK government a long, long time ago, not least of all because of what THEY have done to our country this year due to their total incompetence, and inability to man-up and confess that their handling of this situation was WRONG! Rather than their actions and policies SAVING LIVES, I believe they have been directly responsible for the death of thousands of my kinsmen with illnesses far more deadly than this flu-virus. Never in recorded history has a UK government stepped in and deliberately stopped hard working business people from earning a living, and especially hard hit have been those in the pub and hospitality industries, who were already struggling to survive before this nonsense!
What THEY deem to have been ‘essential’ businesses and services have been allowed to stay open and trade, but I strongly believe PUBS ARE ESSENTIAL SERVICES! Here’s why:
Top of the list are the jobs they provide: many tens of thousands of people with limited skills and limited other possibilities can earn a decent living working in pubs – one of my first ever jobs was as a barman! Not to mention the hundreds of thousands of jobs that are created by the service industries that depend upon them: the maintenance people, suppliers, etc.
I’m surprised the Treasury isn’t screaming at the loss of taxes from the heavy duties that are levied on the pub trade! How much tax are they losing? I mean, we’re going to have to pay for this incompetence somehow. right?
Pubs, especially the smaller, local ones, are the hub and heart of communities.
They are places to meet, socialise, keep up with community news, and a great safe haven for the lonely, and elderly.
Pubs help raise money and support for good causes: approximately £100m per year!
They are often the first to support local sports teams, and other under-funded local causes.
Those that offer live music give opportunities to emerging artists, you’d be surprised the number of now famous musicians got their first break doing a pub gig!
I’m sure you can add to that list! It’s certainly a more substantial list than the government’s reasoning for closing tens of thousands of pubs!
“I Got P*$$ed with Santa Claus”by Tone Def Tony – the ONLY charity song raising money to help those suffering in the pub and hospitality trade this year.