Lyrics

I GOT PISSED WITH SANTA CLAUS

(Alternative: “Won’t Be No Presents On Christmas Day!”)

Lyrics by Anthony James Donnelly

 

<Christmasy sleigh bells slowly change to ‘last orders’ bell, “Last orders, pl-ease!”>

<Belch!>

It was Christmas Eve when Santa came by, I’d left him some milk an’ a juicy mince pie,

I heard his sleigh landin’ on the roof, an’ a clip-a-ti-clop of a reindeer hoof,

“Ho, ho, ho,” ‘e said, “what’s all this? More Christmas food, I’d rather be on the piss!”

 I sprung out of me chair an’ gave ‘im a fright, “I’m up fer that, let’s make it a night!”

So we ‘opped in ‘is sleigh an’ flew to a bar – it was a damn sight faster an’ safer than me car!

Rudolph an’ the elves had tagged along, So we all drank up and started singing this song…

 

CHR.

<Pub crowd>

I got pissed with Santa Claus, He’s gonna get it from ‘er indoors,

Won’t be no presents for kids this year, ‘Cos Santa an’ me went out for a beer…

We went out for a beer, did a pub crawl, Got lashed up, got into a brawl.

The cops turned up and put us away, So there won’t be no presents on Christmas Day!

Won’t be no presents on Christ-mas Day…

Won’t be no presents on Christ-mas Day…

Won’t be no presents on Christ-mas Day…

‘Cos Santa an’ me got put away!

<“But all that ‘appened much later…”>

 

That pub ‘ad shut, so, back in the sleigh, ‘e said, “I know a pub that’s open all day!”

We tossed out all the presents to make more room, off went Rudi, zoom-zoom-zoom!

The night was filled with Christmas cheer, As we did some shots and drank some beer,

We landed with a bump ‘cos Rudi was pissed, Santa just laughed, “I won’t be missed!”

The drinks turned up an’ we knocked ‘em back, Getting pissed with Santa is a blindin’ crack!

We were so f’in’ drunk, Somefin ‘ad to go wrong, but we kept on drinking and singing this song…

 

CHR.

I got pissed with Santa Claus, He’s gonna get it from ‘er indoors,

Won’t be no presents for kids this year, ‘Cos Santa an’ me went out for a beer…

We went out for a beer, did a pub crawl, Got lashed up, got into a brawl.

The cops turned up and put us away, So there won’t be no presents on Christmas Day!

Won’t be no presents on Christ-mas Day…

Won’t be no presents on Christ-mas Day…

Won’t be no presents on Christ-mas Day…

‘Cos Santa an’ me got put away!

<“Sure enough, ‘ere comes trouble…”>

 

Some tossers got the ‘ump an’ started a fight, All ‘ell broke out that Christmas night!

Santa got clocked, an’ the elves pitched in, Rudi felt sick an’ puked in the bin.

It was about that time the cops came along, So as they led us away we started singing our song…

 

CHR.

I got pissed with Santa Claus, He’s gonna get it from ‘er indoors,

Won’t be no presents for kids this year, ‘Cos Santa an’ me went out for a beer…

We went out for a beer, did a pub crawl, Got lashed up, got into a brawl.

The cops turned up and put us away, So there won’t be no presents on Christmas Day!

Won’t be no presents on Christ-mas Day…

Won’t be no presents on Christ-mas Day…

Won’t be no presents on Christ-mas Day…

‘Cos Santa an’ me got put away!

<”Ho, ho, ho… Merry Bloody Christmas!”>

 

 

(c) 2018, Anthony James Donnelly/ Finch, Davey, and Donnelly Enterprises Ltd.

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